I’ve been thinking a lot about empathy this school year.  When I started the year talking about Social Emotional Learning using Brene Brown’s empathy RSA short, I began to see the impact of empathy or lack thereof almost every day.  I truly believe that empathy is a starting point to understanding myself and others.  It’s a point to build connections with each other and the larger world.

As some of you know, I love podcasts.  One of my favorites is Hidden Brain with Shankar Vedantam.  I highly recommend it if you enjoy podcasts that explore human behavior.  This past week I listened to the episode entitled, “The Empathy Gym.”  This episode explores the idea that empathy is a skill that can be developed if exercised.  If one doesn’t work on empathy, that skill will wither.  One of the more interesting assertions made is that empathy in the developed world has actually decreased in the 21st century mostly due to the decline in the need to meet and connect face to face as well as a rise in people living alone.  This idea does make sense to me.  The more we have to talk, relate, cooperate, and experience each other, the more we can see and learn how others feel and live.  Another nugget in this episode explains why I am so exhausted at the end of some days.  The more a person uses empathy and is open to experiencing and considering another’s experience and story, the more tired and uncomfortable this person can become.  In a sense, those days are ones where I did a hard workout in the “empathy gym” which can make it hard arriving home to family life and its own stresses and need for empathy.

How might this view of empathy help me at school?  First, I need to be kind to myself.  Those days when I feel worn out and have the urge to come to a snap decision without considering all sides, I’ve actually expended all my empathy energy.  Stepping away for a second, focusing on something else, resting the empathy muscle, will allow me to come back to an issue fresher and more capable of discerning a way forward.  Second, when working with students who may be having trouble empathizing with others, there are ways to help develop that skill.  Perhaps that student actually has hit their threshold of empathy and cannot take on more.  Perhaps that student needs more time to walk with someone different from herself.  Restorative practices can help in both instances.

So, I’m curious.  Have you been thinking about empathy lately?  Have you found any “exercises” that help build the empathy muscle?