I am a bad writer. I tell
myself this consciously or subconsciously every time I start to compose
something. I will excitedly embrace the
most challenging math problem you can find, but staring at a blank Word
document paralyzes me. In fact it has
taken me at least two weeks to get around to writing this blog post. I reread an email multiple times before I hit
“send.” Are my grammar and spelling
correct? Did I get my message across clearly? Do I sound like an idiot? My Twitter posts are composed in my head long
before my fingers touch the screen. Even
after posting I often question my words as I picture the broad audience they
reach.
myself this consciously or subconsciously every time I start to compose
something. I will excitedly embrace the
most challenging math problem you can find, but staring at a blank Word
document paralyzes me. In fact it has
taken me at least two weeks to get around to writing this blog post. I reread an email multiple times before I hit
“send.” Are my grammar and spelling
correct? Did I get my message across clearly? Do I sound like an idiot? My Twitter posts are composed in my head long
before my fingers touch the screen. Even
after posting I often question my words as I picture the broad audience they
reach.
I was thinking about this several months ago and came to the
conclusion that I’m probably not as bad of a writer as I think I am. I’ve written a few blog posts. I regularly communicate with parents,
students, and colleagues via email. Maybe
people are just being polite, but I’ve never gotten any negative feedback about
what I’ve written. I think it’s just
that I don’t like to write. It doesn’t
come easy to me. It takes me a lot of
time to come up with the ideas and even longer to figure out the best way to
express them. It’s hard and painful work
for me. It’s a struggle. And I don’t think I’m very good at it. (Right now I’m even questioning all the
contractions I’m using!)
conclusion that I’m probably not as bad of a writer as I think I am. I’ve written a few blog posts. I regularly communicate with parents,
students, and colleagues via email. Maybe
people are just being polite, but I’ve never gotten any negative feedback about
what I’ve written. I think it’s just
that I don’t like to write. It doesn’t
come easy to me. It takes me a lot of
time to come up with the ideas and even longer to figure out the best way to
express them. It’s hard and painful work
for me. It’s a struggle. And I don’t think I’m very good at it. (Right now I’m even questioning all the
contractions I’m using!)
Then it dawned on me.
These are some of the exact phrases my Algebra 1 with Math Lab students
use when speaking about math. “I’m not a
math person.” “I’ve never done well in
math.” “It’s too hard.” All year I’ve been trying to nurture in them
a growth mindset: “Mistakes are good.” “Your
brain is growing.” And their favorite: “Synapses
are firing.” I want to instill in them grit,
determination, positive thinking, and risk-taking. I want them to see the beauty and creativity
of mathematics. Well, of course, I
do. I love math, and I want them to love
it, too.
These are some of the exact phrases my Algebra 1 with Math Lab students
use when speaking about math. “I’m not a
math person.” “I’ve never done well in
math.” “It’s too hard.” All year I’ve been trying to nurture in them
a growth mindset: “Mistakes are good.” “Your
brain is growing.” And their favorite: “Synapses
are firing.” I want to instill in them grit,
determination, positive thinking, and risk-taking. I want them to see the beauty and creativity
of mathematics. Well, of course, I
do. I love math, and I want them to love
it, too.
I now realize what a hypocrite I have been. Here I am encouraging a growth mindset in my
students with regard to math, while happily embracing (and nurturing) a fixed
mindset it when it comes to my own writing.
students with regard to math, while happily embracing (and nurturing) a fixed
mindset it when it comes to my own writing.
Recently I was “forced” to face my discomfort when one of my
husband’s colleagues asked me to write an article for a journal she edits. Laura is one of four female scientists at
Lawrence Livermore National Lab who visited Carondelet four years ago at our
last Career Fair. They came to talk with
our students about career opportunities for women in physics. We had just embarked on our Physics 9 program
and I was excited to show them the steps we were taking to get girls into
science early. More recently at a social
event, I was telling Laura about the flipped math classroom and some of the
changes we are planning for our Algebra 1 program. It was after this that she invited me share
what was going on at CHS in an upcoming issue of the APS Forum on Physics and Society.
husband’s colleagues asked me to write an article for a journal she edits. Laura is one of four female scientists at
Lawrence Livermore National Lab who visited Carondelet four years ago at our
last Career Fair. They came to talk with
our students about career opportunities for women in physics. We had just embarked on our Physics 9 program
and I was excited to show them the steps we were taking to get girls into
science early. More recently at a social
event, I was telling Laura about the flipped math classroom and some of the
changes we are planning for our Algebra 1 program. It was after this that she invited me share
what was going on at CHS in an upcoming issue of the APS Forum on Physics and Society.
I was surprised, honored, and excited. I’ve never been “published.” At the same time, I was terrified. Not only did I have to write, which is painful
enough in itself, but who knows who would be reading the article and what they
would think of me. This is a journal for
scientists who “do” physics. I just
teach math. They’re so much smarter than
me. What do they care about high
school? I was overwhelmed with
self-doubt, but I knew that this was something I should do.
enough in itself, but who knows who would be reading the article and what they
would think of me. This is a journal for
scientists who “do” physics. I just
teach math. They’re so much smarter than
me. What do they care about high
school? I was overwhelmed with
self-doubt, but I knew that this was something I should do.
The first draft was bad – almost an embarrassment. Too short, not enough detail, and a little
cheesy. I spent two weeks psyching myself
up for the rewrite. I set aside a whole
day. I armed myself with a growth
mindset. I told myself that I could do
this – that I could produce a quality product, knowing full well that it would
not be easy. If the words weren’t
working, I took a short break, but knew that I was coming back to it. Grit, determination, perseverance. After about eight hours, it was done and I
felt pretty good about it.
cheesy. I spent two weeks psyching myself
up for the rewrite. I set aside a whole
day. I armed myself with a growth
mindset. I told myself that I could do
this – that I could produce a quality product, knowing full well that it would
not be easy. If the words weren’t
working, I took a short break, but knew that I was coming back to it. Grit, determination, perseverance. After about eight hours, it was done and I
felt pretty good about it.
So, what did I learn?
I need to practice what I preach.
If I expect my students to have a growth mindset about math, I need to
have a growth mindset about the things I find challenging. I’ve come to realize that developing a growth
mindset is a process. Just because I
wrote one article doesn’t mean I love writing.
I need to keep working on it. I
also know that I need to continue to be patient with my students. To compassionately encourage them. To stand beside them as they face their math
fears. Because I, too, know what it is
like to work at something that is hard for you.
But I also know the joy of completing the task and taking a few baby
steps of growth.
I need to practice what I preach.
If I expect my students to have a growth mindset about math, I need to
have a growth mindset about the things I find challenging. I’ve come to realize that developing a growth
mindset is a process. Just because I
wrote one article doesn’t mean I love writing.
I need to keep working on it. I
also know that I need to continue to be patient with my students. To compassionately encourage them. To stand beside them as they face their math
fears. Because I, too, know what it is
like to work at something that is hard for you.
But I also know the joy of completing the task and taking a few baby
steps of growth.
Synapses are firing!
Oh, if you’re interested: https://www.aps.org/units/fps/newsletters/201804/innovations.cfm