Last spring I was approached by Lacy and asked if I would lead the fall Shalom retreat.  In all honesty I thought she was joking.  Me?  Lead a spiritual retreat?  Of course I have a spiritual side but I tend to keep that personal so I was really taken back by this request.  I had to ask, Lacy “why me?”   And  she explained that my work with activities and ability to go with the flow will work at a retreat where things do not always go as planned.   And though that made sense I still needed some time to think about it.

A few weeks went by and I toyed with a the idea a little bit, never really wanting to consider myself as a retreat leader.  When I  reflect on the retreats I have been on I view the leaders with a spiritual connection that I don’t know I have or at least could communicate.  Our campus ministers seem so calm and able to communicate their faith in a way that I was just not sure I could do.  The last thing I wanted to do was let Lacy or the group of juniors down.  I am not one to shy away from a challenge but this felt like something so out of my comfort zone that it just might not be a good idea.

Step out of your comfort zone, take a risk, be courageous…..this is what we want for our students, right?  I preach this all the time and yet when it came my turn to do it I was frozen in indecision.  When I made this connection I walked downstairs into Lacy’s office and said, YES, I will run Shalom and then thought, what did I just do?

Fast forward to October, the planning and organization, while time consuming, was not difficult because it was all laid out for me.  The fires in Napa had just happened and the air quality in the bay area was miserable, but to the Santa Cruz mountains we went.  When we arrived at the retreat center and I was able to breath clean air and smell the scent of pine I knew the next 24 hours were going to be amazing.  Then the busses arrived and 68 energetic, beautiful girls got off the busses and I knew I had made the right decision.

The “structure” of the retreat happened, the small groups ran smoothly, all activities were completed, no one got lost and we stayed relatively on time.  I found that I had to make some small adjustments here and there that fit my personality and thankfully the girls responded.  But more importantly then any schedule or set activity I witnessed girls smiling, taking time to really talk with each other, giving each other a welcome embrace.  There were girls that came up to me during one particular activity and shared with me what they were thinking and feeling.  The shared the spiritual connection they were having with me.
How lucky am?  I  witnessed these girls being open and honest, they let me be part of their experience.  And to think I am almost passed on this opportunity.

So I stepped way out of my comfort zone, I was nervous and doubtful.  Was it perfect, probably not, but it WAS powerful, it was meaningful.  And now when I preach to the girls to take a risk and try something new I can speak from experience and I can honestly share that it was worth the challenge and the nerves to reflect back on this experience an consider it an opportunity for growth.