As most of you know, I love to talk. It’s something that has always come natural to me. If given the option to write an essay, take a test, or give a presentation, I was always thrilled to have the opportunity to present. I am fine with tests. I absolutely hate essays.

I feel like part of expecting our students to be vulnerable with us is to be vulnerable with each other.

I am deathly afraid of writing a blog on this platform. Okay, that was a little dramatic. I am extremely hesitant to write a blog on this platform. Why? My original reasoning was because all of my past English teachers work here and I would be extremely embarrassed if I made any sort of grammatical error in my writing.

But I realized that my first reason was only an excuse. Lisa, Jenny, Hayley, and Jen are some of the most understanding and loving people out there. They would not burn me at the stake for a comma splice. I realized that my reason for not blogging was something that I have told our students not to do a thousand times.

I have been comparing myself to others, and fearing that my blog post would not measure up to theirs. I have read heartwarming, hilarious, and insightful posts on this blog that have left me in states of deep contemplation or hysterical laughter. After each one of those posts, I thought to myself, “Maybe I could write one too.”

At one point, I actually sat down to write a post. I had just come back from the CSJ Student Leadership Conference and was absolutely ecstatic. This is the result.

I kept writing, then deleting, then writing again, then growing frustrated that I didn’t have at least three funny quips in by the sixth sentence. I spent ten minutes alone thinking about a clever title. I eventually gave up and thought, “Meh, I guess this just isn’t for me.” I logged out of Blogger and continued on with my day like nothing had happened.

Why write now? Well, after completing our Mission PD activity, I realized that I was not living up to the expectations that I had for our students. As I reflected on my own response as well as the responses of my coworkers, the words that stood out to me were confidence and fearlessness. How can I tell my students that they should not care what others think when I can’t write a blog post without the same fear? How can I tell them to push themselves past roadblocks when I could not?

Our roles as educators and role models is to rise up to challenges. Maybe some of you have shared the same sentiment on being afraid to write blog posts. Or maybe you fear eating in the Faculty/Staff Lounge because you don’t have anyone to sit with. My advice? Take a look back at an article Ashley Clemens sent to us before we went off to break about positive self-talk. Here is the link to the article. I hope to talk to myself in a more positive manner and to keep taking on challenges that scare me.