So I have been having a series of senior moments this week:
- forgetting to pull info for the recommendation of student placement for courses;
- saddened when I arrived yesterday to school realizing I left my smoothie lonely in the fridge at home;
- getting a clear picture in my brain this morning as I left the gym of the milk in the frother and the brewed coffee still in the machine…
This forgetfulness and spaciness immediately triggers anxiety and catastrophizing about what is wrong…
…. Turn page…
After a lovely chat with Jen, Janine, and Carrie who believe I do NOT have Alzheimer’s and that there could be other causes, which include the possibility that there is a lot of people’s plate and I am no exception. In all this I have been left pondering over a Peet’s bought Almond milk latte about:
- the contagion of guilt,
- the value of community,
- and the reality that what does not kill us makes us stronger.
On Guilt
I was not raised Catholic but, obviously have heard the expression of Catholic guilt… and now feel the inescapable contagion of the rich energy that faith and the spirit of the sisters which infuses this school is progressively converting me — one of these expressions come through the process of guilt. I currently suffer from the accumulation of books on nightstand and needing to blog guilt… To take one thing OFF my plate, I have decided to STOP and actually blog and free my brain temporarily of this one pesky thought. Mea Culpa that you, dear reader, are the recipient of my unload… which of course leads me to my second thought, community.
On Community
The holidays are a time to sit back and reflect a little and, although this week has been a little “extra” as the younguns like to say, it has really left me feeling very grateful for the community that I feel privileged to be a part of at Carondelet. Four days of roller coaster post break have been filled with images of:
- being saved by Katie by her Powerschool magic powers on Tuesday
- huge anticipation as I wait for text messages updates for the birth of little Cameron Mix;
- the privilege of being welcomed to participate in Frosh MBS planning meetings an engaging in amazing discussion on what we can do to develop genuine faith and health-based wellness in our frosh world that will contribute to empowering the whole child;
- Ginger talking me off a ledge related to last-minute scheduling set-up reassuringly stating that I just need to “take a lap,”
- feeling the adrenaline rush at the packed Carondelet SOS basketball game watching the girls win against of the top-ranked schools the country;
- Janine sharing that Yoga was challenging this morning because a pesky visual of me at a CHS game screaming “you are the light” at our players as a form of empowering encouragement
- Karina walking into my office and in 30 seconds committing to embarking on a whole food plant based lifestyle with me and commenting I need sweet potatoes in my lentil salad concoction
- So many more…
I think that the sense of community is actually in part a result of the legacy of the sisters and the origins of our school. We may not have the kitchen here at Carondelet, but we do see its spirit alive in so many ways. My ultimate takeaway on that is again Carrie’s mission activity about what we want for the future…
On Life Challenges
Patient reader following my meandering stream of consciousness, you may rest assured, I will circle back to my initial angst and what it all means, Sarah tells me my brain farts or senior moments of the week are actually a sign that, despite the hours of website/form scheduling system building while binge-watching reruns of SVU, I did, in fact, shut my brain off a little and move to vacation mode. She declared that what I am experiencing is a transition back to the fast lane which is causing the brain to backfire… It is true-engines take a little time to pick up speed…
I shared this morning that I think one of my greatest professional gifts was to be blessed with two amazing boys who absolutely HATED school. I really think it made me a better teacher back in the day. Because I loved them so much, it forced me to try and understand the experience from their eyes. It forced me to check my personal assumptions and understanding and try to think about it a different way… my point with this is that it was love that pushed me to be a better educator… and this also brings me back to the sisters and their what their legacy will carry forward in the years to come. You follow their history and their lead and it is one guided by love in the spirit of social justice.
It is that love, energy, and spirit that must guide our innovation and our school to saving the future…
And remember (spoken in a loud stadium cheer) “You are the light!”
