Ever since I shared that my husband and I sent our two children to a leadership intensive workshop in Arizona this past August, I have had conversations with people wanting to know how it went. As I think about and plan SEL training and topics for this year, I find myself reflecting on the training that I received that prompted me to send Aidan and Clarice to Scottsdale. What I learned and brought back has helped me immensely both in my work here at Carondelet and at home.
About three and half years ago, when I first took the job as religious studies department chair, I had a conversation with my husband about how I needed a leadership intensive. I felt comfortable in front of a classroom, but management, guiding others, and having difficult conversations with peers were all intimidating realities. He suggested that I go to a workshop intensive called, U the Leader, through an Arizona company, U and Improved. He completed leadership training with many of the trainers in the company and thought I would benefit. Now, a few years later, I have completed three of these intensives (one on leadership, one focusing on communication, and the last on team building). I am a master grad of their program and look to complete the final intensive on developing vision next year.
I’ve learned many things about leadership, communication, teaming, and myself. The insight that I use every day is this: I have to get out on the “skinny branches” of work and relationships. All of us have barriers that hold us back from having the conversations that we need to have, listening to ideas that we don’t agree with or feedback that makes us uncomfortable, making decisions, and pursuing goals and dreams. Brene Brown refers to these barriers as partly the armor that we build to protect us but ultimately can hold us back. The Sisters of St. Joseph show us that courage is important, even vital to the cause of loving others. Courage is definitely required to set aside one’s armor, and to get out to where one feels vulnerable.
This brings me back to how my children received this leadership/SEL intensive. I have seen them both use the tools that they learned that weekend. My son is in the middle of college applications and a challenging academic senior year, but has practiced having difficult, yet important conversations with friends, and with us. My daughter is exploring new interests here at Carondelet, and talking more freely with us at home about her hopes and dreams. There’s power in shared language. It’s one reason why I feel it’s important for our school community to talk about social emotional learning, and work through these things together, especially when we disagree.
So, I’m going to continue to get out there on those skinny branches. Would love for you to join me!
I am grateful you are bringing back your experiences and sharing them with us through the training we have been doing and the commitment to opening lines of communication at school.
In the Dare to Lead book group we learned that being clear is being kind… that true kindness is talking to people and not about them… Understanding what is keeping us from the conversations and how that speaks more about us than the actual thing we need to talk about has been hugely eye opening for me…
Honored to be learning how to get to the skinny branches with you and wish I had done this with/for my boys.