One-On-One Conferences Breed “Relational Accountability”

Chat, Discussion, Meeting, Talk, Conversation, SpeakingThe authors of 180 Days (see prior posts) emphasize the
importance of one-on-one conferences, and they present a structure for making
them happen. The emphasis appealed to me from the start because I try to
approach teaching as a ministry, an avenue for meeting others where they are in
a spirit of love and acceptance. What better way to minister than in a one-to-one
encounter? The structure appealed to me because I had noticed that I feel more effective
as a teacher when I help students on an individual basis, but only a select few
would take advantage of my office hours.
            The structure looks like this: give
students regular time in class for reading and writing. While they work, meet
with individuals. If it’s a reading conference, we talk about progress in a
book, strategies for comprehension, or book recommendations. If it’s a writing
conference, I might ask, “How can I support you? Is there a part of your essay
you’d like me to look at?”  I keep track
of the students I’ve met with so that I make sure to meet with all of them on a
rotating basis. I also take some quick notes about the meeting.
            I’ve found that even if I never go
back to the notes, the students feel more accountable to me in the context of a
relationship. I’ve started calling this “relational accountability.” For
example, I expect students to “have a book going” at all times, not to meet a
one-book-per-quarter quota. Asking them what they are reading and what page
they are on marvelously keeps them reading, without any grade attached! It
contributes to the tone I want to set that “we are readers.” Likewise, students
don’t put off their writing assignments because they know they will meet with
me to discuss their draft before the due date. (I admit, this hasn’t worked out
as ideally as it sounds, but I’m new at it and have a growth mindset.)
            Most students want to please the
teacher or at least avoid feeling embarrassed, but I’d like to think that relational
accountability transcends those motives. I am trying to take down the affective
filter (Krashen) and build up a relationship based on mutual respect. I want
students to view me as on their team. If nothing else, their few minutes with
me are a moment for them to feel noticed in their busy day.
            For that mindful moment, the student
is not one in a sea of 30; she is, simply, one. I tell myself to be present. I
study her face while she talks to me; I mean, I really look at her and take all of her in. I look into her eyes for
the small child inside. This works especially well with students whose
classroom behavior annoys me. I feel a transformative flood of empathy that refreshes
my relationship with them and renews my sense of purpose as a teacher. My hope
is that the students feel loved unconditionally. Even one such an encounter per
day is a win.