Category Archives: parents

Lemonade from Lemons

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Yesterday, I had a not so great interaction with a student, which left me feeling really bad and it ended up consuming my entire night-yes, I woke up at 2 a.m. thinking about this kid. Why? Oh, why do we have to care so much? Anyway, every year I inevitably have a couple interactions with students that I wish could have gone better, which is par for the course when you work with people, especially teenagers. Many years ago, I realized one way to counteract the way these unfortunate interactions make me feel is to write positive emails to parents of students with which I’ve had great interactions. Fortunately, these positive interactions way out number the negative ones, like by 1000%! Here is a sampling of a few emails I sent this morning:

Dear Mr. and Mrs __________, 
Good morning! I’m writing just to let you know that it has been an absolute pleasure working with _________ this year. He is a great kid! _________ is a joy to be around; he always listens attentively and consistently contributes to our classroom community. I am so happy that he is in my class! 
Have a wonderful day and God bless!
Sincerely,
Mrs. Cutright
Dear Mr. and Mrs. ___________,

I just want to send a quick note to acknowledge what a great kid you have. I am ________’s English teacher this year, and I feel very lucky to have her in my class. I went to England with ____________ a couple of summers ago and I see how she positively influenced her peers during that trip. I get to see another side of her in the classroom. ___________ is hard-working and interested in learning. She really is a joy to be around!
I hope you have a wonderful day.
Sincerely,
Mrs. Cutright
When the time is right, I am going to revisit the conversation I had with the student of yesterday and try again. In the meantime, I do feel better. What do you do when you have a not so awesome interaction with another human?

Parents as Allies??

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Parents as Allies??


In my first year and a half of teaching I avoided parent contact in the same way that I avoided chaperoning school dances; “By any means necessary”.


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Why?? Well I guess for a lot of reasons. I was worried to get a kid in trouble.  I remember when my grades slipped and my parents caught wind I got the inevitable speech about how much they were sacrificing to send me to private school, all the vacations they didn’t get to take, all the things they could have done to their house… blah, blah, blah.  

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The thought of me being the catalyst for that kind of conversation at home for some poor kid was nothing I wanted a part of. Probably the bigger  reason though, if I am being honest, is that as a new “teacher” with no actual teaching experience, I was scared to death that a parent would actually realize that I had no idea what I was doing.  Like any fear or thing you avoid, the more I hid from it, the bigger of a monster it became.  


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That is until the end of last semester at St. Mary’s.  We were supposed to keep a log of our contacts home.  A minimum of eight.  I did one; which was only an awkward email home about a bizarre encounter on Urban Plunge.  I had a choice.  Make a fake log or actually reach out to seven parents.  Yuck.  Im not going to lie and say that I never considered faking the log, but I really respected the professor who assigned this project and remembered all the times she drove home the importance of making connections with families.  

So I did it.  Two days before the due date in late April I reached out to seven families to tell them about how great their kids were and how I saw them grow over the course of the year. I picked students who I knew struggled either academically or with religion. I couldn’t believe the responses I got back from parents almost immediately.  Six out of seven wrote me back to tell me how much the email meant. I really cherished these conversations (cheesy, I know, but for real) and felt full of joy as the end of the school year came to a close.

This afternoon I decided to send a quick email home to my freshmen parents introducing myself and just letting them know that I was looking forward to meeting their kid and am hoping that this transition into high school is a great one.  Within two hours eight parents responded with kind words, offers of help for the year, and insights to issues and fears that their kids are having starting out the year.  I wish I had come to this realization sooner. Of course there are those parents who are a pain, but by and large parents are our biggest allies.

This year I am challenging myself to reach out to parents three times a week; I want to touch base, get insights, share growth, and treat them like the assets they are. I also want my students to know that I DO call home and thats not a big bad scary thing. 

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If you’re like me and avoid parents I challenge you to try reaching out this year.  If you reach out a lot for grade and behavior issues call sometimes and just share the good stuff.  I am excited to start this year.  I feel so lucky teach in a school so rich in cultural assets and I cant wait to make new connections with people and see how that informs my teaching practice.